Wanting to (Want to) Change
We create courses, challenges, and content that help people assess and build their readiness to change, incorporating many of the classic tools from cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based approaches to behavior change: motivational interviewing, introspective prompts, SMART goal setting, and more. These can be powerful tools that help people reflect, plan, and take action.
But over the years, something has become increasingly clear in our work: people vary in their readiness to change, and there’s an oft-overlooked element that doesn’t get directly addressed in most models or frameworks. And yet, it’s quietly at the root of so much resistance and hesitation in the people who could most benefit from lifestyle changes.
It’s fear.
Fear is the flame that keeps lighting the cigarette. Fear is topping off the glass when it’s still half full, even when life is feeling increasingly half empty. It’s a sense that “this change I’m planning on” includes the loss of something that comes with the momentary discomfort and shift in self-identity.
After all, these behaviors are habits, they’re parts of routines, and thinking about life without them feels like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. Change, even if it’s an undeniably healthy one, feels like letting go of a piece of ourselves.
The First Shift: Wanting to Want to Change
That’s why I’ve come to believe that behavior change doesn’t begin with wanting to change. It starts with wanting to want to change.
It’s subtle, but important. Acknowledging that you want to change, that is a thought that directly precedes taking action, and it can be overwhelming and fear-inducing enough to keep you right where you are, waiting for a tomorrow that never comes. But wanting to want to change, that’s not scary; it’s just a wish. It’s imagining yourself choosing to change. It’s saying, “I still want the cigarette but maybe one day soon not wanting it will outweigh wanting it.” Or, “I’m not ready to move more, but I’m tired of feeling tired.” It’s a quiet turning toward a different future that barely stokes the ember of fear, a stepless step for people who aren’t ready to walk on the coals yet.
💡 That first emotional shift, when ambivalence starts to give way to hope, is a key stage in someone’s readiness to change.
Supporting Readiness to Change Without Rushing It
At Avidon, we meet people at every stage, including this one: the space between not yet and maybe soon. We build content that doesn’t shame or rush, but instead respects the courage it takes just to acknowledge you want something new. This is why our tools are built to support not only change itself, but the readiness to change that precedes it. So, if you’re stuck, or if someone you care about is stuck, know this: you don’t have to be ready to change. Just be willing to want to be ready. That’s where it begins.
If you’re curious how we support that first step, explore our trial version and see Avidon in action.
