Sooner or later, most members hit a week where things fall apart. Someone who's walked every morning for two months gets sick, travels for work or has a hard week at home, and the routine stops. It's easy to treat that as something to deal with when it happens.
It's better handled in advance. Many slips can be seen coming, and so can the thinking that turns one bad week into quitting. Here's why that happens, what a member's plan should contain, and how coaches can respond when a slip comes.
Why one slip turns into quitting
One of the best-known models of relapse comes from G. Alan Marlatt's work in alcohol treatment. A review of Marlatt's model draws a line between a lapse, a single slip, and a relapse, a full return to the old pattern. A lapse raises the risk of relapse. It doesn't make relapse inevitable.
A big part of what decides it is how the person explains the slip to themselves:
| What the member tells themselves | What tends to happen |
|---|---|
| "I have no willpower, I'll never do this" | More likely to give up altogether |
| "I didn't have a plan for that situation" | More likely to learn from it |
Marlatt and Gordon called the first reaction the abstinence violation effect: the guilt and self-blame after breaking a rule, which can push people to drop the goal entirely.
What goes in a relapse prevention plan
This is the structure we'd use, built from the research. Four parts, written with the member in their own words, short enough to fit on one page.
The situations most likely to cause a slip
Start with when a slip is likely. Ask the member about past attempts: when did things fall apart, and what was going on? In Marlatt's research on drinking relapse, negative emotions like anger, anxiety or boredom, together with conflict with other people, set off more than half of all relapses. Social pressure played a part in more than 20%. Ask about the coaching versions of those moments: a stressful week, a fight at home, a holiday, a trip.
An if-then plan for each one
For each situation, write down one specific response as an if-then sentence. "If I'm traveling, then I'll walk for 20 minutes before breakfast at the hotel." "If I've had a fight at home, then I'll message my coach before I open the pantry."
The format matters. A meta-analysis of 94 tests found that plans spelling out the when, where and how of a goal had a medium to large effect on reaching it. A goal on its own ("I'll stay active when I travel") leaves the decision for the moment itself, which is usually the worst time to make it.
Early warning signs, with a line that means act
Marlatt's model also describes relapses that build from a string of small choices that look harmless at the time. In a coaching program, that drift can show up early: a skipped check-in, a few unlogged days, a weight creeping up. The plan should name the signs and set a line that means "do something now."
A weight-maintenance trial in the New England Journal of Medicine did this with people who had already lost weight. They were taught to weigh themselves daily and sort the result into zones:
(Wing et al., NEJM, 2006, 314 people)
The zones were one part of a larger program, so they can't take all the credit. But the idea is easy to borrow. For activity, the line might be three missed workouts in a row. For sleep, a week of late nights. The member picks the line, and the coach agrees to watch for it.
A plan for the day after
The last part is what the member does after a slip. Marlatt's approach treated it like an emergency kit: simple written steps, a commitment to contact the therapist soon after the lapse, and a look at what set it off. For a coaching member, we'd keep it to three lines:
- Get back to the routine at the next normal opportunity, not next Monday.
- Message your coach within a day. That step only works if members know when they'll hear back, so set a clear reply window and keep it.
- Work out together which part of the plan didn't hold.
Put the member's own words about why they started at the top of the page. The weight trial did something similar: its tool kit included each person's own weight-loss story.
When to write the plan
Not in the last session. By then there's no time to test it. We'd start the plan once a routine is in place, around the middle of the program, and finish it before weekly coaching tapers off. Then revisit it at check-ins after that, because the risky situations can change with the seasons.
This fits the structure we'd use for coaching program length: weekly coaching first, lighter monthly contact after, and a step back up to weekly sessions when someone slips. The plan's warning signs are what tell the coach, and the member, that it's time to step up.
How coaches can respond to a slip
The coach's first reply after a lapse helps shape the story the member tells about it. What we'd tell a coach: start with the situation, not the miss. "What was going on that week?" Then go straight to the plan:
- Which situation was it?
- Did the if-then response fit?
- What would they change?
Skip the lecture. It keeps the slip at the center of the conversation, when the point is the next step. The aim is to move the member toward "I didn't have a plan for that" and away from "I have no willpower."
Where Avidon fits
Avidon's cognitive behavioral training follows an eight-step training sequence that ends with relapse prevention: preparing for setbacks so members keep their gains. Members in live coaching can message their coach through the platform, so the day-after check-in doesn't have to wait for the next session.
The warning signs are where software helps most, because a coach with a full caseload can't watch every member for drift. In Avidon, automations triggered by what the member does or doesn't do can:
- Send a text when a member goes quiet
- Follow up privately after a missed session
- Create a task for the coach
So the most common early signs reach the coach without anyone having to spot them, instead of surfacing at the next monthly check-in.
If you're building programs for clients or members, see how Avidon works for coaching companies.
