The music, the ads and the party invitations all assume you're happy right now. If you're not, it can feel like you're the only one.
You're not. In a national poll last November:
Nearly half worried about affording or finding gifts, and almost one in three worried about difficult family dynamics or being lonely (American Psychiatric Association, 2025).
So if you're dreading the next six weeks, that's a normal reaction to a hard season, not a personal failing. Here's how to get through it on your terms.
Why the Holidays Can Feel So Heavy
It's usually more than one thing at once:
How to Get Through the Holiday Blues
None of this takes a big overhaul. Pick the ideas that fit your season and skip the rest.
Decide what this year looks like
Not what it's supposed to look like. What it actually looks like, for you, this year. Pick the two or three things that matter most to you, whether that's one dinner, one tradition or one afternoon with a particular person. Let the rest be optional.
Tell the people around you early. "I'm keeping things small this year" is a complete sentence, and saying it in November saves a lot of guilt in December.
Say no to some of it
You don't have to go to everything. You don't have to stay till the end of everything you go to. Before a gathering, decide how long you'll stay and how you're getting home, so leaving early is a plan instead of an escape.
It's also fine to step outside for ten minutes in the middle of a party. A short walk around the block resets more than you'd expect.
If you're grieving, make room for it
Grief doesn't take the holidays off. Mayo Clinic Health System's bereavement director suggests planning ahead and telling family what you need, accepting help with the shopping and cooking, and giving yourself permission to change or skip traditions this year (Mayo Clinic Health System). A change this year doesn't have to become the new tradition.
Some people find it helps to give the person a place in the day: sharing stories at dinner, lighting a candle, making an ornament with their name on it. Laughing and crying in the same hour is normal. Both are part of it.
Set a money limit before the shopping starts
Money worry is one of the biggest sources of holiday stress, and it's easier to handle before you're standing at a checkout. Pick a total you can live with, then work backward to a number per person. Suggest a gift swap, a name draw or a "kids only" rule to your family. Plenty of them are hoping someone will.
Gifts that cost time instead of money count too: a meal you cook, a photo you print, an afternoon you spend helping with something.
Go in ready for the hard people
Most families have one conversation that always goes badly. Decide ahead of time which topics you won't take up, and have a line ready, like "I'm not getting into that today. How's the new job?" Then change the subject and mean it.
Give yourself an out: offer to walk the dog, help in the kitchen or run to the store. Time limits help too. Two good hours beat six tense ones.
If you'll be on your own, plan the day
Being alone on a holiday is hardest when the day just happens to you. Plan it instead. Line up a call or video chat with someone. Pick a movie, a long walk, a meal you actually like. If you want company, look at volunteering, a community meal or a friend's open-door dinner. Many of them want more people, not fewer.
And if being alone is your choice this year, that's allowed too. A quiet day can be a good day.
Keep the basics going
Sleep, movement and drinking are the three things that slip first in December, and each one makes your mood harder to manage. Keep your wake-up time roughly the same, even on days off. Get outside in daylight when you can.
Go easy on alcohol, too. It's everywhere this time of year, and it tends to make a low mood lower the next day. You don't have to quit to drink less at parties. Alternate with water, or bring a drink you actually like that doesn't have alcohol in it.
When It's More Than the Holidays
For most people, the holiday blues lift once January settles in. If yours don't, or if the low feeling is getting in the way of sleep, eating, work or the people you care about, talk to your doctor. That's what they're there for, and it's a lot more common than it feels.
Make This Season a Little Lighter
You can't control what the holidays bring. You can control how much you take on, how you handle the hard moments and what you do to take care of yourself through them. Those are habits, and like any habit, they get easier with practice.
That's what the Avidon app is built for. It uses cognitive behavioral techniques to help adults change everyday habits, with programs for Stress & Emotional Health, Mindset & Self-Talk, Sleep & Recovery, and Alcohol & Moderation. In our six-month study of more than 7,500 people who took our stress program, 96% said they handled stressful situations more effectively afterward.
